DADDY'S GIRL

I think about my dad alot when I run. He died before I started to get healthy, before I lost a serious amount of weight and before I started to run. He never knew me as healthy Amy. He never knew me as Amy the runner, Amy who ran a Half Marathon...twice. He would be so surprised...and proud... to see me now. Healthy. Strong. Fit. Energized. Taking total control of every area of my life. I will think of him when I cross the finish line at the Marine Corps Marathon in October.

My father was one of the greatest encouragers in my life. I was his only daughter. Daddy's little girl. He and I had a special bond. He understood me. Always. Always. If I was upset, happy, angry, discouraged, in the depths of despair...he always could make me feel better. No doubt about it. He could read every emotion on my face and in my words. With words or without, he was my rock. The man was wise in ways that simply were indescribable. He knew people and he knew me. He had such a calming influence on me it still makes me smile when I think about it.

Many of the fondest memories I have are when I was a little girl with my father. When I think of who was there for me? Encouraging me? My dad. Who was there giving me words of wisdom and guiding me in the ways of the world? My dad. Who was there patiently sitting beside me for hours on end teaching me Algebra II and Geometry II? My dad. When my world would spin out of control...didn't matter if I was 5 years old or 40 years old...who was there to pick up the pieces and make it all right again? My dad.

My Dad was a man of incredible courage, strength and character. Nine months before his death he unexpectantly was diagnosed with kidney cancer. It was quick. He maintained that same courage, strength and character to the very end. I remember hours before he died, in the hospital room, before he slipped into an unconscious state, he suddenly sat up in his bed. He really wasn't speaking. I was just sitting on his bed, talking to him, trying desperately to absorb every moment, every fiber of his being before he slipped away. He just sat there looking at me...with his green eyes...I inherited Daddy's green eyes...and all of a suddenly he very slowly started moving straight towards my face with his face. Expressionless. I thought something was wrong. I said, "Do you need something, Dad? Are you ok?" He leaned in closer, and closer, until he literally was right on top on my face...and then he very quickly leaned and kissed me right on the nose. And smiled. And then, he leaned back on his pillow and closed his eyes. I smiled, and tears rolled down my face, and whispered, "I love you, Daddy." It was the best gift he left me. Soon after, he slipped into unconsciousness.

I'm not saying my Dad was perfect. But he was there for me. I have some wonderful, beautiful memories of my Dad. I have spent many, many hours running in the past 2+ years. Much of that time is spent thinking of my Dad. Sometimes when I am having a challenging run, I hear his voice, encouraging me, whispering..."You've got this, Amy Faith...you are so much stronger than you think. Run, baby, Run."

DIG DEEP. THEN DIG A LITTLE DEEPER.

This morning before I went for my long run, I ran into a guy I know who works in law enforcement. He was walking his dogs and asked me how my running was going and how my prep was going for the Marine Corps in October. We talked about age, weight, exercise, running, walking and how life in general has a way of sneaking up on you. He's a few years older than me, and at age 53, he said he has slowed down a great deal. He talked about how he used to run, used to exercise more, used to do this, used to do that...He wished me luck with my running and with the marathon and we went our separate ways.

I began to think about our conversation as I began my long run in the park. He and I are not that far apart in age. Everyone has their physical challenges...some more so than others. Some of those physical challenges absolutely limit us in what we can do. Some people just seem to age quicker than others. Did you ever think about that? Some people look years older than they really are, while others seem to have found the fountain of youth.

For some people, exercise, or physical fitness has been a part of their life for as long as they can remember. For others, like me, being phyically fit became a priority later in life. Others couldn't care less about exercise or fitness.

How does your level of fitness, or lack thereof, impact your life? How does the way you feel physically effect your job performance? Your home life? Do you think if you improved your fitness level you might notice a difference in the way you feel? Do you think you might notice a difference in the way you function?

What about at home? Are you tired all the time? I'm not talking about extreme circumstances where you are putting in crazy hours at work or working 12+ hours a day. I'm talking about day to day existence. Are you tired ALL the time? Do you fall asleep as soon as you sit down? Need naps? I ain't talkin' bout new moms and dads, either, who have the excuse of being up all night with a baby. Or, the parent who occasionally has a young child who is sick and needs attention throughout the night. We've all had nights like that. Or occasionally, when we don't feel well or have a bad night. I'm talking about being tired. All the time. Day after day after day.

How's your bedtime routine? Can't sleep at night? Do you catnap throughout the day? Then at night you're not tired at bedtime so you stay up late...get to bed late...have to get up early for work...and are tired because you were up late...it goes on and on and on...

Family time. What does your family do together? Things to promote moving your body? Things like hiking, baseball, basketball, swimming, walking in the park, or biking? Or...do you sit around like slugs most of the time...watching tv, slapping your fingers on the laptop, mindlessly popping junk food into mouth while time slips away. Now, there's absolutely nothing wrong with watching some tv, or spending some time on the computer, but it's all about balance. If you do those things, do you also balance it out by going outside and doing some sort of physical activity on a regular basis as a family. Are you setting a good example for your kids? Or are you too tired? Or don't have the time? Yep.

Your job. Now you may have a job outside the home, like my acquaintance and many others, or you may work at home. Doesn't matter. How does your fitness level effect your job performance? It's interesting. As he was talking this morning about how out of shape he was, and patting his nice little pot belly, I was wondering how it worked in his job...he is ACTIVELY on the streets...law enforcement. I would think you would need to be in some semblance of fitness to work law enforcement...especially when you're not sitting behind a desk. Does your level of fitness impair your job performance in any way? If you were a bit more fit, a little less tired, do you think you would be able to function better at work? If you felt better physically, and in turn, maybe even felt a little sharper mentally, how would that impact your day at work?

We just feel better when we exercise. It's a fact. We perform better. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally. All around. It impacts our life in a major way. You don't have to run 6 miles and you don't even have to train for a marathon. But you do have to move your body. Every day.

THIS AND THAT

Wow. I haven't posted since March. Seems like forever. Life has been busy. Wrapping up school with the kids...GRADUATING my oldest child, Marisa!!! and now preparing for a graduation party.
Oh...and of course, I did run that half marathon :-) Yes, I did...it was a good, solid run. I felt well, felt strong. It was a hot, hot day to run those 13.1 miles. My time was not to my liking...actually a bit slower than last year. I have tried not to focus on that. In hindsight, I believe the heat really had a effect on the run. Many other runners I spoke with that day said the heat had a major impact on their time. I was very happy to complete my 2nd half marathon...in the great city of Pittsburgh! It brought me even greater joy this year to run on behalf of the charity Genre's Kids With Cancer Fund. With your donations and my run, we brought in $1520.00 in donations to help children and their families dealing with the effects of pediatric cancer. Thank you!
Many, many people I speak with are continuing to take charge of their health. Changing eating habits. Starting and continuing an exercise program. Changing their lives. Are you one of them?

INSECURITIES VS STRENGTHS

Today started my outdoor runs in preparation for Pittsburgh's Half Marathon on May 6th. I am ready. I run every other day. Short runs are 6 miles. Long runs on the weekends are up to 12 miles. I'm ready. This past week I registered for the Marine Corps Marathon on October 28th. A dream of mine. I am BEYOND thrilled. And terrified. But that's another blog. As I was running through the park this morning I was thinking about all the things I am insecure about as I run. As I train. To counterbalance those insecurities, I also thought about the things that make me strong as I run. As I train. It's all in the balance. You need a few of the insecurites, sometimes, to keep you humble and motivated. But, you also need to not have them weigh you down. Hold you back. That's were all the things that make you strong come into play. And that's what it's all about. Strength is power. Power to propel you forward. Forward to achieve your dreams.

INSECURITES                                                            STRENGTHS                                           

1. My speed                                                                   My endurance
2. My knees                                                                   My training to strengthen
                                                                                     knees
3. Using pepper spray                                                    Having pepper spray
4. Cold runs                                                                  Strong lungs: no more asthma
5. Migraines                                                                   Health getting better & better
6. Creepers in the park                                                   Pepper spray!
7. Not being prepared                                                     I AM PREPARED. GEEZ.
8. Upper body strength                                                  Getting strong with weights
9. Running in the rain!                                                    Positive mantras!
10. Injuries                                                                    I train smart...
                                                           
                                                           
                                                     

HOW MANY HOURS UNTIL 5:00 A.M.?

After almost 2 weeks of being sick off and on, and not being able to run and train, I am thrilled to be able to hit the gym tomorrow morning once again. I also have a greater appreciation for both my health and the gift of RUNNING. EXERCISING. LIFTING. EATING HEALTHY. TRAINING FOR A HALF MARATHON. GETTING UP AT 5:00 A.M. YEP. EVEN THAT. AHHH....GOOD TO BE BACK IN THE GAME...ISN'T IT A LITTLE BIT TWISTED THAT I AM THINKING PAST THE HALF MARATHON AND COUNTING THE DAYS UNTIL I CAN REGISTER FOR THE MARINE CORPS MARATHON??????? That would 10 days...March 7th. 3:00 p.m. Registration for the Marine Corps opens. I am so excited. Chills.

STUMBLE? NO WHINING. GET UP AGAIN.

You know, every once in awhile, you have an off day. Today, I had an off day. Had a great sleep last night. However, there were alot of little things that were throwing me off balance this morning. I am fighting a bit of a sore throat and cough. I've had a minor stomach thing going on lately. Before I left for the gym, I pulled out my back. Won't even go into the details of how I did that. Yesterday I added extra weight to the leg press and had a nagging ache in my right thigh. I got ready...mentally preparing myself for my long run.

Fridays are my long run days. I am ahead of schedule with my distance. Last Friday I did 11 miles. My intention is to increase by a mile every month until race day. 11 miles the month of February...12 miles the month of March...13 miles the beginning of April...and then begin tapering down to race day. Today my goal was to shoot for 10-11 miles. I am stronger and further ahead than I was last year.

Many days, I roll out of bed at 4:30-5:00 a.m not feeling 100%. Sometimes it's mental, sometimes it's physical, but regardless... I am on autopilot. Goals. Run. Lift. Elliptical. Gym. I just get up and go. Unless I am seriously ill, or seriously injured, I go. That's what you do when you have goals. When I feel like that, usually, once I get running, or lifting or going on the elliptical, I'm ok. My adrenaline kicks in, I feel fine and I am glad to be doing what I love to do.

Once in a blue moon, though...it just doesn't work. Happens rarely. Very rarely. And, it is even MORE rare that it happens when I have STARTED a run...started a workout. In the 2 years I've been exercising, in the year and a half I've been running...I think it's happened...2...maybe...3...times. It happened today.

I started my run. I could tell almost right away that things weren't working. My body was not falling into place like it should. That happens sometimes. I also go into autopilot when I'm running. As a runner, there are times when little aches, little pains, little things happen to distract, to divert, to throw you off course. But, you move past them. Through them. Around them. Over them. I mentally could not lock into that zone.

Today it didn't work. I was really struggling to make it work. It was supposed to be my long run. I was fighting it. Finally, giving in to my better judgement, and pushing down disgust, anger and disappointment, I stopped running after 4 miles. I only did 4 stinking miles. I was supposed to do 10-11 miles. Geez.

Anyone who runs knows that to give in, to stop, when you feel you have to...or need to...for whatever reason...is hard to do. It goes against the grain of who you are. Sounds weird? Guess you're not a runner. But, I stopped. I knew I would end up doing more harm than good by making any type of attempt at continuing the run. Man, I hated stopping.

Some days...you just have days like today. It was discouraging and disappointing. I was mad. And disgusted. But, the one thing I was grateful for at the end of the day? That I had the brains to stop.

Tomorrow, I will see how I feel. It is supposed to be a gorgeous day. If I am feeling up to it, I will attempt a long run. Outdoors. If not, I may hit the gym for some strength and cardio training. I may also take my one daughter out on the back road in the woods behide our house. She wants to start to run. Now that? That makes me smile.

SHE'S A MANIAC

I just referred to myself as a manic in a facebook post to someone when talking about my health, fitness and running. I looked up the definition of maniac on dictionary.com.

1. a raving or violently insane person; lunatic.

2. any intemperate or overly zealous or enthusiastic person

When it comes to my health, fitness and running, I guess you could say I am a raving person, perhaps even a bit of a lunatic. I wouldn't liken myself to a violently insane person, although I'm sure there are some who may disagree...

Intemperate? Hmmm? I guess that depends on your definition of intemperate...

Overly zealous? Sure. I like that.

Enthusiastic. Yep. Like that one. Someone recently told me that I was not obnoxious about my health, fitness and running....that I was enthusiastic. That I was encouraging and enthusiastic.

So, was I correct in referring to myself as a maniac when it comes to my health, fitness and running?

Darn tootin' I was...