As women, we nurture. It's what we do. We take care of everyone and everything. For most of us, it's something that we need and want to do. We take care of our family. Our friends. Our home. Our career. We take care of everybody and everything. Except, often, not ourselves.
We go through different phases in our lives. There are times when we caregive at a higher intensity than other times. When our children are very young. When we have elderly parents. When someone in our family is struggling and needs more of our time.
I can only speak for myself. But, I also speak for many, many women...friends... others...who I have talked to over the years who sometimes struggle with taking care of themselves. I have had women, especially women with young children, talk to me about the frustration of not being able to find the time to eat PERIOD, let alone plan a healthy meal. Frustration with not being able to find the time to exercise. I understand that. I really do. There was a time in my life when my girls were 3 years, 1 1/2 years and a newborn. And, I had postpartum depression on top of it. And, I was a minister's wife. I was always expected to be "on". Talk about pressure. I had 2 in diapers, was nursing and was lucky I had time to go to the bathroom, let alone get a shower and get dressed for the day. I get it. There are times in our lives when more of our attention is needed for those we love. I have spent years, as others have, devoting time to raising my children. Nurturing my family. Trying my best. I still am.
My point is this...I am now at a stage in life where I have a little more flexibility in my schedule. My 3 daughters are 18, 16 1/2, and 15 years old. My son is 9 years old. My 3 daughters are in high school and do online schooling. I homeschool my son. It is important to me that I am available for my family and I try to be there for them during the day. In order to be able to teach Aaron all day, I arrange my schedule so I am at the gym, or have my running complete, and am back home, by the time he gets up in the morning. What does that mean? It means that this woman, who used to hate mornings, has to get up, every morning at 5:00 a.m. And, on Tuesday, and Thursday, when I teach(I have a teaching degree and teach at a learning center), if I want to get my workout in, I have to get up at 4:30 a.m. Insane you say? Some may think so. I have arranged my schedule so I can be back home before my family awakes for the day. I have gotten used to it by now, and actually enjoy it. Sometimes, when I am training hard for a race, I have to put in extra hours, and that schedule may vary, but for the most part, I try to have my workouts done by 8:00 a.m. 5-6 days a week.
It's very interesting to me that even though most people have considered my 2 year journey of getting healthy and losing just about 100 pounds a major feat, there are others who think I have become selfish...
Now, most won't come right out and say, "Amy. You're being rather selfish, don't you think? Spending so much time on yourself. Look at all the time you've put into this. Look at all the time you put in at the gym. Look at all the time you put into your runs. Hmph..."
I am tired of some people thinking I am being selfish because for once in my life I am taking care of myself. I am in a position now where I am able to take some time for my health. For myself. I have not been able to do that for a long, long time.
I talked to 2 different moms this week who were really struggling. Feeling overwhelmed. When will women understand, when will people understand, that it is not wrong for women to take care of themselves? As women, we give, and we give and we give and we give. DON'T GET ME WRONG. There is nothing wrong with that. But when we sacrifice ourselves...when we lose ourselves in the mix...that's a problem. How can we be effective women...effective wives, mothers, daughters, sisters, friends, coworkers...effective ANYTHING...if we are running on empty? Why is it selfish to take care of ourselves? We take care of everybody else. Our spouses. Our children. The dog. The house. The laundry. The cooking. The cleaning. (Well, sometimes) The education of our children. Some of us have jobs outside of the home. WHY can't we take care of ourselves? AND when we do, WHY IN THE WORLD DO WE FEEL GUILTY ABOUT IT?????????????????
ALMOST EVERY SINGLE WOMAN I TALK TO FEELS GUILTY ABOUT TAKING CARE OF HERSELF. I don't care if she is going to the gym, going for a run, painting her nails, taking time to read a book, going to lunch with a friend, going to bed early, going for a walk around the mall, buying herself a new shirt, spending some talk time with a girlfriend, or even spending time in the Word. Often, she feels guilty about it.
You can not neglect your responsibilities. That's not what this is about and I'm hoping noone even goes there.
Burnout. We've all been there. Phases of life. We all go through them. There are times when we need to give more attention to those around us. As women, we play a vital role in many people's lives. But we need to take care of ourselves. It is not selfish to take care of yourself. If you are at a phase in your life, right now, where you can't tend to yourself as much as you'd like...either because of small children, or some other reason, that's ok. You'll get you back. What you are doing is important. Vitally important. When my children were very small, that was my job and I loved it. I still do. I still have an important role in helping guide and direct them in their path of life.
You cannot take care of others if you have nothing left of yourself...physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually.
BE A STRONG WOMAN.
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