INSECURITIES VS STRENGTHS

Today started my outdoor runs in preparation for Pittsburgh's Half Marathon on May 6th. I am ready. I run every other day. Short runs are 6 miles. Long runs on the weekends are up to 12 miles. I'm ready. This past week I registered for the Marine Corps Marathon on October 28th. A dream of mine. I am BEYOND thrilled. And terrified. But that's another blog. As I was running through the park this morning I was thinking about all the things I am insecure about as I run. As I train. To counterbalance those insecurities, I also thought about the things that make me strong as I run. As I train. It's all in the balance. You need a few of the insecurites, sometimes, to keep you humble and motivated. But, you also need to not have them weigh you down. Hold you back. That's were all the things that make you strong come into play. And that's what it's all about. Strength is power. Power to propel you forward. Forward to achieve your dreams.

INSECURITES                                                            STRENGTHS                                           

1. My speed                                                                   My endurance
2. My knees                                                                   My training to strengthen
                                                                                     knees
3. Using pepper spray                                                    Having pepper spray
4. Cold runs                                                                  Strong lungs: no more asthma
5. Migraines                                                                   Health getting better & better
6. Creepers in the park                                                   Pepper spray!
7. Not being prepared                                                     I AM PREPARED. GEEZ.
8. Upper body strength                                                  Getting strong with weights
9. Running in the rain!                                                    Positive mantras!
10. Injuries                                                                    I train smart...
                                                           
                                                           
                                                     

HOW MANY HOURS UNTIL 5:00 A.M.?

After almost 2 weeks of being sick off and on, and not being able to run and train, I am thrilled to be able to hit the gym tomorrow morning once again. I also have a greater appreciation for both my health and the gift of RUNNING. EXERCISING. LIFTING. EATING HEALTHY. TRAINING FOR A HALF MARATHON. GETTING UP AT 5:00 A.M. YEP. EVEN THAT. AHHH....GOOD TO BE BACK IN THE GAME...ISN'T IT A LITTLE BIT TWISTED THAT I AM THINKING PAST THE HALF MARATHON AND COUNTING THE DAYS UNTIL I CAN REGISTER FOR THE MARINE CORPS MARATHON??????? That would 10 days...March 7th. 3:00 p.m. Registration for the Marine Corps opens. I am so excited. Chills.

STUMBLE? NO WHINING. GET UP AGAIN.

You know, every once in awhile, you have an off day. Today, I had an off day. Had a great sleep last night. However, there were alot of little things that were throwing me off balance this morning. I am fighting a bit of a sore throat and cough. I've had a minor stomach thing going on lately. Before I left for the gym, I pulled out my back. Won't even go into the details of how I did that. Yesterday I added extra weight to the leg press and had a nagging ache in my right thigh. I got ready...mentally preparing myself for my long run.

Fridays are my long run days. I am ahead of schedule with my distance. Last Friday I did 11 miles. My intention is to increase by a mile every month until race day. 11 miles the month of February...12 miles the month of March...13 miles the beginning of April...and then begin tapering down to race day. Today my goal was to shoot for 10-11 miles. I am stronger and further ahead than I was last year.

Many days, I roll out of bed at 4:30-5:00 a.m not feeling 100%. Sometimes it's mental, sometimes it's physical, but regardless... I am on autopilot. Goals. Run. Lift. Elliptical. Gym. I just get up and go. Unless I am seriously ill, or seriously injured, I go. That's what you do when you have goals. When I feel like that, usually, once I get running, or lifting or going on the elliptical, I'm ok. My adrenaline kicks in, I feel fine and I am glad to be doing what I love to do.

Once in a blue moon, though...it just doesn't work. Happens rarely. Very rarely. And, it is even MORE rare that it happens when I have STARTED a run...started a workout. In the 2 years I've been exercising, in the year and a half I've been running...I think it's happened...2...maybe...3...times. It happened today.

I started my run. I could tell almost right away that things weren't working. My body was not falling into place like it should. That happens sometimes. I also go into autopilot when I'm running. As a runner, there are times when little aches, little pains, little things happen to distract, to divert, to throw you off course. But, you move past them. Through them. Around them. Over them. I mentally could not lock into that zone.

Today it didn't work. I was really struggling to make it work. It was supposed to be my long run. I was fighting it. Finally, giving in to my better judgement, and pushing down disgust, anger and disappointment, I stopped running after 4 miles. I only did 4 stinking miles. I was supposed to do 10-11 miles. Geez.

Anyone who runs knows that to give in, to stop, when you feel you have to...or need to...for whatever reason...is hard to do. It goes against the grain of who you are. Sounds weird? Guess you're not a runner. But, I stopped. I knew I would end up doing more harm than good by making any type of attempt at continuing the run. Man, I hated stopping.

Some days...you just have days like today. It was discouraging and disappointing. I was mad. And disgusted. But, the one thing I was grateful for at the end of the day? That I had the brains to stop.

Tomorrow, I will see how I feel. It is supposed to be a gorgeous day. If I am feeling up to it, I will attempt a long run. Outdoors. If not, I may hit the gym for some strength and cardio training. I may also take my one daughter out on the back road in the woods behide our house. She wants to start to run. Now that? That makes me smile.

SHE'S A MANIAC

I just referred to myself as a manic in a facebook post to someone when talking about my health, fitness and running. I looked up the definition of maniac on dictionary.com.

1. a raving or violently insane person; lunatic.

2. any intemperate or overly zealous or enthusiastic person

When it comes to my health, fitness and running, I guess you could say I am a raving person, perhaps even a bit of a lunatic. I wouldn't liken myself to a violently insane person, although I'm sure there are some who may disagree...

Intemperate? Hmmm? I guess that depends on your definition of intemperate...

Overly zealous? Sure. I like that.

Enthusiastic. Yep. Like that one. Someone recently told me that I was not obnoxious about my health, fitness and running....that I was enthusiastic. That I was encouraging and enthusiastic.

So, was I correct in referring to myself as a maniac when it comes to my health, fitness and running?

Darn tootin' I was...

BEFORE/AFTER...PGH HALF MARATHON...GENRE'S KIDS WITH CANCER FUND

Running...it's what I love to do...and how I lost alot of my weight...check out my before and after pictures on Dick's Sporting Goods Pittsburgh Marathon facebook page. I will be running in my 2nd half marathon in the Pittsburgh Marathon's Half Marathon on May 6th, 2012. This year, I am running for my favorite charity, Genre's Kids With Cancer Fund. Check out the 2nd link to learn more about contributing to my fund to help kids with pediatric cancer.

https://www.facebook.com/#!/photo.php?fbid=1881785740545&set=o.139288502700&type=3&theater

http://active.com/donate/GenresKids/amyfaith

Rantings of A Mad Woman

Surround yourself with positive people. People who support you. People who encourage you. People who are like-minded. People who support your goals. People who do not belittle you. People who inspire you. People who motivate you. People who know you and your dreams. People who will propel you to be the very best you can be. Elliminate the poison.

THE HARD TRUTH

As women, we nurture. It's what we do. We take care of everyone and everything. For most of us, it's something that we need and want to do. We take care of our family. Our friends. Our home. Our career. We take care of everybody and everything. Except, often, not ourselves.

We go through different phases in our lives. There are times when we caregive at a higher intensity than other times. When our children are very young. When we have elderly parents. When someone in our family is struggling and needs more of our time.

I can only speak for myself. But, I also speak for many, many women...friends... others...who I have talked to over the years who sometimes struggle with taking care of themselves. I have had women, especially women with young children, talk to me about the frustration of not being able to find the time to eat PERIOD, let alone plan a healthy meal. Frustration with not being able to find the time to exercise. I understand that. I really do. There was a time in my life when my girls were 3 years, 1 1/2 years and a newborn. And, I had postpartum depression on top of it. And, I was a minister's wife. I was always expected to be "on". Talk about pressure. I had 2 in diapers, was nursing and was lucky I had time to go to the bathroom, let alone get a shower and get dressed for the day. I get it. There are times in our lives when more of our attention is needed for those we love. I have spent years, as others have, devoting time to raising my children. Nurturing my family. Trying my best. I still am.

My point is this...I am now at a stage in life where I have a little more flexibility in my schedule. My 3 daughters are 18, 16 1/2, and 15 years old. My son is 9 years old. My 3 daughters are in high school and do online schooling. I homeschool my son. It is important to me that I am available for my family and I try to be there for them during the day. In order to be able to teach Aaron all day, I arrange my schedule so I am at the gym, or have my running complete, and am back home, by the time he gets up in the morning. What does that mean? It means that this woman, who used to hate mornings, has to get up, every morning at 5:00 a.m. And, on Tuesday, and Thursday, when I teach(I have a teaching degree and teach at a learning center), if I want to get my workout in, I have to get up at 4:30 a.m. Insane you say? Some may think so. I have arranged my schedule so I can be back home before my family awakes for the day. I have gotten used to it by now, and actually enjoy it. Sometimes, when I am training hard for a race, I have to put in extra hours, and that schedule may vary, but for the most part, I try to have my workouts done by 8:00 a.m. 5-6 days a week.

It's very interesting to me that even though most people have considered my 2 year journey of getting healthy and losing just about 100 pounds a major feat, there are others who think I have become selfish...

Now, most won't come right out and say, "Amy. You're being rather selfish, don't you think? Spending so much time on yourself. Look at all the time you've put into this. Look at all the time you put in at the gym. Look at all the time you put into your runs. Hmph..."

I am tired of some people thinking I am being selfish because for once in my life I am taking care of myself. I am in a position now where I am able to take some time for my health. For myself. I have not been able to do that for a long, long time.

 I talked to 2 different moms this week who were really struggling. Feeling overwhelmed. When will women understand, when will people understand, that it is not wrong for women to take care of themselves? As women, we give, and we give and we give and we give. DON'T GET ME WRONG. There is nothing wrong with that. But when we sacrifice ourselves...when we lose ourselves in the mix...that's a problem. How can we be effective women...effective wives, mothers, daughters, sisters, friends, coworkers...effective ANYTHING...if we are running on empty? Why is it selfish to take care of ourselves? We take care of everybody else. Our spouses. Our children. The dog. The house. The laundry. The cooking. The cleaning. (Well, sometimes) The education of our children. Some of us have jobs outside of the home. WHY can't we take care of ourselves? AND when we do, WHY IN THE WORLD DO WE FEEL GUILTY ABOUT IT?????????????????

ALMOST EVERY SINGLE WOMAN I TALK TO FEELS GUILTY ABOUT TAKING CARE OF HERSELF. I don't care if she is going to the gym, going for a run, painting her nails, taking time to read a book, going to lunch with a friend, going to bed early, going for a walk around the mall, buying herself a new shirt, spending some talk time with a girlfriend, or even spending time in the Word. Often, she feels guilty about it.

You can not neglect your responsibilities. That's not what this is about and I'm hoping noone even goes there.

Burnout. We've all been there. Phases of life. We all go through them. There are times when we need to give more attention to those around us. As women, we play a vital role in many people's lives. But we need to take care of ourselves. It is not selfish to take care of yourself. If you are at a phase in your life, right now, where you can't tend to yourself as much as you'd like...either because of small children, or some other reason, that's ok. You'll get you back. What you are doing is important. Vitally important. When my children were very small, that was my job and I loved it. I still do. I still have an important role in helping guide and direct them in their path of life.

You cannot take care of others if you have nothing left of yourself...physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually.

BE A STRONG WOMAN.